Sunday, 25 April 2010


Here are a few - more and less - traditional haiku that I've written recently. Most English haiku are written in seventeen syllables (divided into phrases of five, seven and five) or in a free style, but still very short. These poems ar then often printed on three lines.

As you can see, I do not like the presentation in three separate lines, I feel the structure should be evident from the poem - which has made me very reluctant to share my flawed attempts - and I prefer to stick to certain traditional forms

But anyway, here goes nothing:

Ancient tree
A pile of timber, or a living monument to eternity?

Above the Rhine
Misty, viny slopes rolling voluptuously; I can almost reach.

Pink sky
Candyfloss floats: it's lighter than the colours of a spring sunrise.

Duck on a bus-stop: is nature's time-table screwed up too?

However, in trying to apply myself more and more to the art, I've found that I'm much more in my element in a category called senryu: (darkly) humorous poems with the same structure as haiku, but concentrating more on human nature rather than just nature. I don't know if there's a name for :

Without sunglasses, looking out of train windows is such a headache.

Important advice to those with long toenails: don't cut to the quick.

My foot!
There will be a day when plantar fasciitis is eradicated.

Here's a quick diversion into a different structure (5-3-5 instead of 5-7-5):

World hunger must end! Honestly, I didn't eat that much...

And finally one for the internet age. For clarity's sake this one is presented over three lines, internet-speak has rather weak grammar...:

For the win!
A/S/L... LMAO!

Friday's child

This rhyme has been doing the rounds on the blogosphere lately, so I felt I might as well chip in

Monday's child is fair of face,
Tuesday's child is full of grace,
Wednesday's child is full of woe,
Thursday's child has far to go,
Friday's child is loving and giving,
Saturday's child works hard for his living,
And the child that is born on the Sabbath day
Is bonny and blithe, and good and gay.

I'm not so sure about this "loving and giving" lark. Can I change my birthday? I'll take Monday instead.

Best friend K. was born on a Sunday and he's definitely gay.

Saturday, 17 April 2010

My IQ is < x >

One out of two isn't bad... (Point your mouse at the picture and read.)

And while I'm at it, this is so true. Back to the story I was reading!

One more and that's it, I promise. Awwww!

Wednesday, 14 April 2010

Pride goes before the fall

I wrote this over a week ago, forgetting to post it. There may be a couple more of these "lost posts".

I should have used my crutches. I had them in my hands before I left for work this morning. But I figured I hadn't been out all day Monday and I'd used them during the weekend, so my foot should be rested enough. It wasn't hurting...

Except that ten yards from my front door I did start to feel the pain again.

Never mind, I'll hop on the bus and I'll walk slowly and carefully on the other end.

Eight days later, I'm still on crutches. These things heal slowly and painfully.

Monday, 5 April 2010

Lousy drunk

Thank goodness for Easter Mondays off work. Even though I'm actually feeling fine, it's good to be able to take it easy after last night.

Church was good, we had a visiting minister from the States who made some interesting points and left with an open ending. UUs like it when a church meeting makes you think.

Afterwards I went out with the president, vice president, the visiting minister, his wife, the lady they've been staying with, her boyfriend and their son for dinner and a few drinks. We ended up forgetting about dinner and just having snacks - and quite a few drinks. During the service the minister's host had mentioned that this was the first time her son had attended a UU service. A little later he got up to light a candle too, starting with: "I am the son." It was Easter...

It was so much fun just hanging out and joking. The minister's wife was a revelation, so funny and quite a bit naughty. She learned a few words of Dutch and immediately applied them to the bartender. Indeed he was quite a "mooi lekker ding". Their hosts left, but the son - quite the dish himself - stayed. He's a mix of Dutch, US and Mexican and he's in real estate. If Lynette hadn't already found her dream home, he might have been the man to talk to. Although he's further north than where she is going (there's about a seventeeen hour drive between them, he thinks).

She also told us how she got stopped on the Canadian border once, at the start of a trip around the US and Canada. Ladies will know there's always a compartiment in your purse that you never really know, I'm sure there are equivalents for men too. Well, they found a roach, not even this big (indicating a quarter of an inch) that she had completely forgotten about in that compartiment that you never use. I believe the irony of an American trying to smuggle something like that into Canada didn't escape them.

I can't temember how the conversation turned on to the subject of bathroom vending machines, but apparently the men's room sells breath mints and condoms, while the ladies sells breath mints and miniature toothbrushes. So the son suddenly holds up The packet of condoms he's bought in ther and I guess it wasnly fair that I came clean and showed the toothbrush. The latter come in a little plastic tube that also contains a tiny tube of toothpaste.

We were quite rowdy and our bartender didn't wa t to believe we'd just (okay, I told him around 10 PM, time went by so fast) come from church and he seemed fascinated by the mixed composition of our group. Not something I'm too surprised at, older UUs seem amazingly 'with it'.

The minister and I exchanged ideas on iPhone apps, his wife convinced me that there are situations in which you might want to buy an iPad, plus her mind is almost as dirty as mine.

At eleven thirty it seemed as everyone suddenly started thinking of getting home. I thought about crashing at K's, but he was probably comatose by then and I don't have my keys to his place anymore since he lost his.

They all walked to the tram stop next to the Westertoren with me - the minister's wife saying how she'd been to the pink triangle, the gay monument across the street - and waited for me to catch one.

I wasn't drunk enough to get into any real trouble, but I was operating a pair of crutches to keep my plantar fasciitis down (did I mention it's been acting up again?) and if it seems to you that crutches might help stabilise the intoxicated, you're wrong.

I got home, took a happy pill and started getting ready for bed and what happened? Out it all came. Usually you're not supposed to just take your meds again, but this time there was no chance of a double dosage.

Back to work tomorrow, but only for three days and the it's off to the EUU retreat. Damn!

Had to wash my hair and get out of the bath there, I heard the starting music of University Challenge.