Monday, 26 May 2008

Good evening, officer.

Here's one of those funny circular e-mails your friends and family sometimes send you. Usually they're eye-rollingly bad, but for some reason this one stood out:

THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
  1. Innovative
  2. Preliminary
  3. Proliferation
  4. Cinnamon

THINGS THAT ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
  1. Specificity
  2. Anti-constitutionalistically
  3. Passive-aggressive disorder
  4. Transubstantiate

THINGS THAT ARE DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
  1. No thanks, I'm married.
  2. Nope, no more booze for me!
  3. Sorry, but you're not really my type.
  4. Taco Bell? No thanks, I'm not hungry.
  5. Good evening, officer. Isn't it lovely out tonight?
  6. Oh, I couldn't! No one wants to hear me sing karaoke.
  7. I'm not interested in fighting you.
  8. Thank you, but I won't make any attempt to dance, I have no coordination. I'd hate to look like a fool!
  9. Where is the nearest bathroom? I refuse to pee in this parking lot or on the side of the road.
  10. I must be going home now, as I have to work in the morning.

Is it any wonder I'm enjoying a nice bottle of Merlot at the moment?

5 comments:

Dan4th said...

This is brilliant. I may have to borrow it.

Ladrón de Basura (a.k.a. Junk Thief) said...

Word I still have trouble pronouncing sober or drunk: "aluminum". (And I had to spell check it twice. I guess there really isn't an R in there after all.)

American in Norway said...

Ditto to Dan4th... might have to snatch it. Gret blog

evilganome said...

Sounds about right to me. I remember having difficulty with all of them. As much as I can remember of it, that is.

SubtleKnife said...

I know one person who probably would say "Good evening officer."

One night K called me from the train because he had just been stopped by a female officer in front of the station for jaywalking.

She asked if he'd been drinking and he said "Yes, officer, I'm drunk." I think it confused her so much she let him go with a warning.